Friday, January 18, 2013

AMF: The Talkmaster's Last Show

Neal and Donna Boortz in the famous "Boortz Bus" from Millenium Luxury Coaches


After 42 years on the air, January 18, 2013 was Neal Boortz's last radio show. Though his contract will have him fill-in as a guest host from time to time, the show will no longer hold his by-line. Over 10,500 shows since his humble beginnings, Neal ends his career in a style that can only be described as "Boortz".

Neal started the show claiming he was going to do the show without notes. He also stated he didn't want to transmit Obama's name for one show, asking his engineer and producer to "bleep" it should it escape his lips, or anybody else's.

Somehow, people still do not recognize the name Neal Boortz. The man has gone camping with US Supreme Court Justices, gone golfing with billionaires, sang with Charlie Daniels, hung out with Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy, and gone hot air ballooning with  US Presidents ("Hey! It's Me, Jimmy!"). His final show should prove to be radio history.

Plans Change

Neal discussed what his plans were for his last shows. His second to last show was supposed to be done from College Station, TX, where his radio career began while he was a college student at Texas A&M. Evidently, the syndication company had difficultly making that deal happen. So Neal is in Atlanta, GA. A few years ago, Neal had moved to Naples, Florida and built a remote station in his home. One of his greatest reasons for moving to Florida was the fact that Florida has no state-level income tax, unlike Georgia.

Those who have listened to Neal over the past several years are accustomed to his rants concerning tax law. Neal has even co-authored two books explaining and advocating the Fair Tax. He puts his money where his mouth is. He moved to a right-to-work state  that also had no state-level income tax.


How To Truly Enjoy An NFL Football Game

Belinda attempted to convince Neal to attend the next Atlanta Falcons game. Neal countered that he has a huge HD television, surround sound, a lavatory 5 feet away, and he can "scratch whatever itches". To top it off, he can do so without fighting traffic or dealing with security guards groping him on the way into the stadium.

Belinda countered by offering up the mob mentality, jumping up and down with the crowd and "hugging complete strangers when they score".

Neal responded with sarcastic deadpan "Oh Golly! Get me a ticket, quick".

"Can you work your magic in a 2-minute warning?" ~ @WSBbelinda

"2-minutes is about it, yeah" ~ @Talkmaster #Boortz


So, what happened  to "Tiffany"? 

Almost a year ago, a caller "Tiffany" called to confront Neal. During the on-air call, Neal somehow broke though Tiffany's frustration to the core of her real issue. Many listeners recall the incident as Neal, Belinda, and the rest of the team reached out to help Tiffany get a leg-up. Since then, listeners have requested updates on a regular basis.

On the night before the final show, Belinda set into the task of getting in touch with Tiffany. Evidently, the task was  not as easy as anticipated. Her phone number had changed. It seemed  as though this woman had disappeared.

Belinda worked her magic and found her.

They called Tiffany. Tiffany has become much more conservative. She has started her own business. Her political views have  turned around. Her financial situation has turned a good corner. Unfortunately, they got her on the air less than a minute before a hard break. Listeners should press Herman Cain to check-in regularly with Tiffany, having her on his show.

Twitter-Addiction

Neal is a twitter addict. He apologizes for not being able to respond to the 600 messages a minute he averages while on the air. @Talkmaster

Once he retires, it will be the most consistent means of interacting with him. Neal stated that he will continue to blog on "Nealz Nuze" as well as write for Townhall Magazine.


Bus-Breath

Neal's first show in Atlanta was at WRNG. They show used to get their morning traffic reports from the Atlanta public transportation bus drivers. The reports were coordinated by a traffic reporter he affectionately nicknamed "Bus-breath". Beverly "Bus-breath" recalled when she brought her mother to work one day. Neal evidently told Beverly's mother that she and Neal used to "blank" back in the 70s.


Hey Neal! "Who Stole My Porn!"  Gonna miss you. #AMF #Boortz @Talkmaster

Neal reminisced about two blondes that worked in the news department. One of them was working on a story about rampant pornography. Somebody had snagged her notes for her story. Neal recalled how she ran around the office screaming "Who Stole My Pornography!".


"Hey, Emily Eggert, How Do You Like Me Now?"

While at Pensacola High School, Neal asked out Emily to a football game. He was an "uber-geek" in High School. Somehow, Emily said "Yes". After the game, Neal couldn't find the car. After searching for the car for over 30 minutes, some idiots pulled up in a car. They asked Emily to go to a party with them. She ditched Neal to go to the party, leaving him standing there looking like a "dork".

A "dork" is a whale penis. I'm wondering what sort of woman would walk away from a man who appeared to be sporting something that large.

On a piece of art in the radio station hallway is attributed to "Emily James". Well, that is her married name. She and her husband live in Neal's current town of residence. Neal golf's with Emily's husband. "She's stalking me!". Evidently, Emily did quite well, marrying the house-boy from her college sorority who later became quite successful in the banking industry.


Neal Gets Home Depot Founder To Join Twitter

Neal reminisces with his old friend Bernie Marcus, co-founder of Home Depot. Bernie called into the show. Neal and Bernie are old golfing buddies. Neal makes the case for capitalism. Bernie and his partner got employees to re-invest in the company. The company is worth over $30 Billion. Bernie and his partner's business model made millionaires out of many of those "minimum wage" laborers from the early days. That is capitalism at its finest.

Bernie called in to say "farewell and good luck". However, he also stated, on air, that he will now create his own Twitter account just to follow Neal. It appears that Neal is trying to infect many more with Twitter Addiction.

Of note, Neal was the reason I started on Twitter. I had grown tired of hearing him talk about cool things he was "tweeting". So, just to have access to one link that Neal published over Twitter, I set up my account and profile. Damn You, Mr. Boortz!



Neal piped in how he is now free of paying Medicare taxes, among other payroll taxes. This is in segue to plugging his last blog entry that will serve as his program notes. The entry is over 6,000 words long, telling a summarized version of the story he tells in his latest book, Maybe I Should Just Shut Up And Go Away. The book was published as an e-book. However, demand is increasing for print copies, especially signed ones.

I plan to read and review the book in the near future. I'm currently reading, for pleasure, a novel by one of Neal's other friends, Vince Flynn. Vince write the Mitch Rapp series, which tops Ian Flemming's Bond Series and Lundlum's Borne Series from the Cold War Era. If you liked the TV show 24, I highly recommend Vince's novels.

A listener called in sad that she won't be hearing Neal on the air anymore. Neal consoles her by reminding listeners that he plans to do daily commentaries. Herman Cain currently publishes his "They Think We Are Stupid" commentaries at the beginning of Neal's show every day. Once Herman takes over the show, on January 21, their roles will switch. Neal will provide his rants in 2 minute daily commentary segments. It will be interesting to hear how Neal try to keep his rants to under 2 minutes.

The same listener inquired about Neal's initial retirement plans. Neal discussed his plans to go camping in various places to include hiking into and out of the Grand Canyon. That led Neal to relay tales of camping at sites with a "lovely black man" who everybody found nice and engaging. What most people fail to realize is that fellow camper is Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas! Now that is a great way to get away from it all with comfortable anonymity!


Blaire Is Still Endowed!

Blaire, 27, gets nice and embarrassed by Neal over her large womanly attributes that she has been blessed with since she was 13. Royal and Neal were playing Simon Says at a Braves game several years ago. The Jumbo-tron spotlighted Blaire as she jumped up and down, raised her arms, and all other movements. Blaire ended up winning the competition. She called into the show to endure one final moment of flattery from the Talkmaster.


 "If they take Clark [Howard] hostage, they will pay US to take him back!" ~ @Talkmaster

Neal Boortz and Clark Howard have had a little friendly head-bumping over the years. Clark hosts a show on avoiding scams and saving money on the same station as Neal. The two have co-hosted several charity events over the years and supported the charitable efforts of the other. One time, Clark hosted a charity event at his house. He had set up parking some distance from the house in order to protect his lawn, etc. Neal drove his car right up to the front door.

Neal often jibes Clark about being cheap. On Thursday January 17, 2013, Belinda was complaining that the printer in the station was low on ink/toner. She took out the cartridge to shake it "like Clark says". On the air, Neal yelled at Belinda to "Just put a new one in! I don't care what Clark Howard says. Shaking it makes it spotty. Just put in a new one already!"

Well, Clark is on vacation in Dubai. Not wanting to miss Neal's last show, he is listening via internet streaming. Neal gave an on-air nod to his co-worker. Of course, Neal could not resist another on-air poke at Clark. "If those Al-Qaeda idiots decide to abduct Clark, I hate it for them. They will be wanting to pay us to take him back!"


Jamie Dupree's Last Spot With Neal

For the past eleven years, Jamie Dupree has been part of Neal's Friday "Information Overload Hour". This Friday is Jamie's last spot.

It has always been entertaining to hear Jamie attempt to remain unbiased as Neal is the exact opposite. Jamie is a political news correspondent who has become one of the most trusted reporters because he avoids voicing his political opinions with his analysis.

Jamie is a true professional who does his job without sinking into the bias that infects most mainstream news outlets these days. His professionalism extends so deep into his personality that he refuses to admit the bias, even when blatant. However, today, Jamie did take a swipe at Rachel Maddow's over-the-top, extreme left-wing bias.

Together with Neal, Jamie has attempted to "pull back the curtain" of daily business in DC by reporting objectively. The segments started with the attacks on September 11, 2001 and continued. The Jamie Dupree segments have some of the most listened to and sought after radio segments for political junkies on all sides of the aisle.


Sean Hannity Calls Boortz!

Boortz has been on panels on Sean's TV show many times. In fact, when Bob Beckel had his faux pas on Sean's show, Boortz was  the dude twirling the football. Both of them quickly jumped to Bob's defense after the incident.

After Boortz's "Happy Ending Gala" in Atlanta, the two closed a bar together after some mishaps involving hotel room reservations.

Their friendship goes back decades. Neal affectionately tells the tale of how he "chased Sean out of Atlanta" back when Sean was first gaining popularity. They had moved Neal's show to the time slot to compete with Sean's show. In fact, about six years ago, Sean tried to steal Neal's research analyst, Cristina, from him.

Of other note, Neal and Rush Limbaugh both started at the same station, which they both refer to as the "Ex-Wife". For years, newer listeners thought that Neal and Rush had both been married to the same woman.


Put Up This Poster, Now!

Neal's big break at WRNG came after another host committed suicide. Greeting Neal was a poster on the wall.

"You have not converted a man because you have silenced him" ~  Viscount John Morley of Blackburn

Neal segues into his hiring debacle moving to WSB from WRNG. While Neal was stuck off the air for 6 months due to contractual agreements, Royal Marshal was preparing to be his engineer. Royal was told all sorts of misleading things about Neal, to include allegations of racism. After a couple of weeks on the air, Royal confronted Neal, off-air, about one of his comments. Neal told him to go on the air and say it.

After the on-air conversation, Neal told Royal to feel free to open his microphone and and jump in whenever he felt the need to. Royal did so and didn't look back.

Two years ago today (January 18, 2013) was Royal's last show with Neal before his untimely death. The world is a much worse place without Royal.



After 42 years, The Queen Finally Calls Onto the Show

"Something that Neal does every day that many people don't know is that he makes other people better." ~ Donna Boortz

Neal has often, irking her ire, spoken of his wife, Donna, on the air. He refers to her as "The Queen" not because she rules his life like a tyrant. The nickname has always been because he adores her. He is the king of his castle. She has long been his voice of reason, his rock, his queen.

After 42 years, Donna finally called into the show to appear on the air. She provided the perfect final caller to his final show. She takes Neal's hand, leads him from the microphone, and into the sunset. Well, not really the sunset. They are headed to Disney World.


"I'm a radio talk show host, not a disk jockey. I do not spin records. I spin callers and listeners"

Neal gives a final soliloquies to his listeners and callers from the past 42 years. He honestly believes that his success would not have been possible had listeners not called in to provide entertaining conversations. After 42 years, Neal's final show ends with tears and his trademark unfettered honesty.


My remarks to Neal:

In the early 1990s, I took leave to visit my father. He had recently moved to Atlanta, Georgia from Chicago. He had some arrogant, rude guy on his radio. Coming from Germany, I wanted to hear the music that was currently popular in the US. He refused to change the station. That was Christmas, 1993, just 9 months after Neal started with WSB in Atlanta.

But this talk show host was better than any I had been shackled to listening to before. This guy was saying things I wished that I could. As a Soldier, I had to keep most of my political thoughts locked in my head. Yet here was this guy saying them on the radio like he was reciting my inner thoughts. However, many of his statements were stated with a lot less vulgarity and a lot more humor than I could muster at that young age.

During the last 15 or so years of my 24 year military career, I caught Neal's show whenever possible. Many times it wasn't. During my last tour to Iraq, I had the ability to listen via streaming. I managed to catch at least part of most of the shows since. I had gone from being a "dumb infantryman" and joined the intelligence community. Neal provided much needed insight into the cultural and political landscape "back home" that helped me paint a much more accurate picture of the battlefield.

When I retired from the military, I retained my routine as an early riser. However, I no longer awoke to head in for duty. I now woke up well before the Arizona sunrise to listen to Neal's show.

As stated earlier, Neal is who lead me to twitter. I have long desired to write for a living. Had Neal not lead me to Twitter, I may never have been introduced to Andrew Breaitbart. I may never have met Kurt Schlichter. I may never have exchanged phone numbers with Brandon Darby. I may never have opened up my blog and began to type my thoughts on issues I see as key to our great Republic.

Donna said that you make people better, Neal. That is true. The ripples you sent out into the universe have touched so many that you may never comprehend. Your work is done, Neal. Though there may be some dark days ahead for our country, be proud. You have not failed. Just as when Andrew died, there are more voices out there to pick up that torch.

She is right, as usual.

Like your Queen, mine has supported me in my folly. She has supported my desire to write, report, and entertain through written word. She has supported my political activism, as well. Such spouses are truly treasures to be appreciated and adored.

Neal, you have mentioned me on the air more than once. You have referred to several of my tweets. You have worked links I have sent you into your programs. I had friends and family call, email, and text me within minutes of your saying "Hi Paul in San Antonio! Thanks!" after I signed your petition and began promoting it. I am but one of your many listeners and not any stand-out special snowflake. However, this illustrates Donna's point that you have a knack for prompting people to become better. 

Thank you for prompting me to seek the truth. Thank you for inspiring me to question things and to write about my findings. Thank you for the years of thought-provoking entertainment.

May the gods bless and keep you and Donna as you enjoy all you have justly earned. Adios My Friend.