Sunday, May 27, 2018

22 Reasons

I just watched "Beyond 13 Reasons Why" for season 2. Netflix undertook a brave task in producing and airing both the original and second season of this show, especially considering the often avoided and highly sensitive topics the series as well as the novel upon which it is based addressed.

In the second season, Olivia Baker, mother of the main character and suicide victim, brings a list of 11 reasons to live to the character Clay. In this blog I want to double that number, mostly for symbolic reasons.

An often misquoted statistic is that 22 combat veterans a day commit suicide. I must dispel that fallacy. The actual statistic is that military veterans are 22 percent more likely to attempt suicide than non-veterans. A corollary is that combat veterans are 19 percent more likely to commit suicide than military veterans who did not directly experience combat. While 22 veterans do not die by their own hands each day, the propensity is still an epidemic that must be addressed.

I am a combat veteran a few times over. Those with whom I am willing to discuss the horrors I experienced are a cursed few. Even so, those unfortunate enough to be on my list of trusted individuals need to ask. This is something my ex-wife never really embraced. She thought it all should have come out like emotive word vomit. Part of the reason is that, like suicide, the effects of PTSD are not endured alone despite how isolated we may feel. Discussing the impacts of what I experienced at war directly affects and effects others who were there. Given what I did in the military, it also affects national security and the safety of countless civilians.

My journey through PTSD serves to illustrate that sense of dark isolation. I can, too easily, understand what those who commit suicide go through. I have been there. If it were not for my intense grasp of my mortal coil, I could easily have long fallen into the same spiral into nothingness. Despite bouts with depression, periods lacking motivation, and what seems like months of continual loss, I want to keep living more than anything. It may just be curiosity that keeps me going. I admit there are times I wonder "what's next?" meaning after this life. However, my desire to see "what's next?" as in what tomorrow brings is greater. Also admittedly, sometimes that curiosity is just in seeing if it really can get any worse. Spoiler Alert:  Things do not get that bad.

Here is my stiff middle digit to the 22 percent statistic; my 22 reasons why not.

1. AJ Fosler, my daughter. In full disclosure, she is my ex-step-daughter. However, I have helped raise her since she was a 3 year old pile of giggling strawberry-blonde curls. She is the first reason because I simply refuse to quit on her or let her down, regardless of the fact I am no longer a daily part of her life.

2. I am still in debt. This may seem a strange reason, but it is a simple concept. For one thing, one of my life goals is to own my own house. Well, the bank still owns a good portion of it. Besides, I have no desire to stick somebody else with my bills and would rather leave the house, paid in full, to someone.

3. I refuse to let the bad guys win. That's what happens if I just give up, roll over, and die. I beat them. I'm still here. For that victory to remain, I need to still be here and not dead by their hands or mine.

4, 5, & 6. My nephews. What sort of example would I be setting for these future warriors and leaders?

7, 8, & 9. My mother, father, and brother. I have put them through enough worry and pain during my years in the service. It would be rude of me to put them through more by having them deal with the messy aftermath of a suicide.

10. My ex, because, well, refer to number 3. She is highly competitive and issued a challenge. Despite the fact she is 17 years younger than I am, I WILL out live her. Sorry Missy, I did over 20 years in a dangerous job. I'm still here though many others are not.

11 I need to do something with this degree I busted my ass to earn. Seriously folks, I am not one for wasting time or effort. So I'm sticking around until something pans out.

12. My book(s) are not yet finished nor published. I have three that I started and never finished, and a 4th in my head that will likely be completed before the others. It is on my bucket list to publish a book that sells, perhaps not millions of copies, but, at least, a few thousand.

13. I can still walk, run, swim, bike, and do pull-ups. Actually, for being almost 50, I'm in great shape. Many 30 year old guys have remarked that they wish they were in as good of shape as I. They could be. They just need to eat better and do some exercise. Granted, I am as I am because I had a healthy beginning. I worked out regularly in the Army, hitting the gym outside of PT, and competed in bodybuilding competitions until a Registered Dietitian told me that the pre-competition diet my body required to do well was unhealthily healthy (too strict).

14. I have places I still need to see and a few things I need to do. So, yes, the rest of my bucket list..

15, 16,  & 17.  Schuyler Haynes, Chris Seifert, and Derek Dobogai. There are, perhaps too many, more names I can add to this list. But these are three of my closest friends who were killed in combat. I need to live so their memories live on.

18. I'm a rebel. I refuse to be part of a statistic, especially one that I find so repulsive.

19 - 22. Every Soldier, Sailor, Wingnut, and Marine serving, who has served, or will ever serve. I am a retired Non-Commissioned Officer. I will always do my utmost to not let any of you down, to pick you up when you falter, to salute you when you succeed, and to sing odes to your glory when you triumph victorious.

So, 'til Valhalla my brothers and sisters. Keep the mead cool and flowing for me. I'll be along eventually, just not yet.

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

PODCAST: Mouth of Matuszak Radio Show #MMRS 10-3

Mouth of Matuszak Show 


With host Paul-Gregory Matuszak

Aired live 8-9 AM Central (9-10 ET)   October 3, 2014

Listen on Heartland Radio through Live365

replays at

Freedom Friday!!!!!

Bill Whittle's latest on OK beheading.

AlfonZo's take on the OK beheading

Dan Joseph gets university students to sign petitions to support ISI... one former Soldier calls him on it, happy to see Dan is outing low-information students.

MI community warns that ISI is targeting military family members, using social media to find addresses and phone numbers. 

Looney Liberals --

12 mayors of major US cities sign letter supporting amnesty for illegals.

Kay Hagen's family is profiting from Obama care and Stimulus

5th Federal Court upholds Texas abortion restrictions -- go into effect immediately!

PODCAST: Mouth of Matuszak Radio Show #MMRS 10-2

Mouth of Matuszak Show 

 With host Paul-Gregory Matuszak

Aired live 8-9 AM Central (9-10 ET)   October 2, 2014

Listen on Heartland Radio through Live365

replays at

Topics Discussed:

Good News for Greg and Sabrina Allen of Austin, Texas. Sabrina is reunited with her father, Greg, 12 years after she was kidnapped and held in Mexico by her mentally ill mother.

Speaking of people held in Mexico against their will, Marine Sergeant Andrew Tahmooressi may be on his way home, soon.

Looney Left-wing tyrant Jerry Brown signed anti-2nd Amendment bill into law. Now, in A, your family members can order the gestapo to confiscate your weapons if they allege you are emotionally or mentally unstable. This is without a court order and requires no actual evidence or proof.

Luckily such a draconian law meant to leave people open for predators and criminals didn't apply to a Las Vegas woman. She had a stalker. The cops did nothing to stop him. So, she got protection. When he attacked, she defended herself.

WH running man pleads not guilty, violated no laws. The thing is, the WH IS public property.

Secret Service Director Julia Pierson resigns

Ebola-mania-- Two cases now in Dallas. Patient, Thomas Duncan, may have been in contact with kids. State of Texas quarantines the family until Oct. 19th. If they leave their house, they will be arrested for public endangerment. Dallas parents keeping kids home from school in panic.

Meanwhile, another suspected case of Ebola in Obama's "home state" of Hawaii.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

PODCAST: Mouth of Matuszak Radio Show #MMRS 10-1

Mouth of Matuszak Show 

 With host Paul-Gregory Matuszak

Aired live 8-9 AM Central (9-10 ET)   September 29, 2014

Listen on Heartland Radio through Live365

replays at

Topics Discussed: 

Texas Debates -- wow, it was actually close. Davis supported teachers unions, Abbot supported local-level control of schools. On the TEF, Davis tossed allegations at Abbot though investigations already showed he did everything correct and legal. She refused to answer allegations on her company profiting from TEF deals. Davis supports toll roads, Abbott supports revamping transportation funding and eliminating toll roads. Effect on polls? Negligible.

Suspected case of Ebola in Dallas confirmed! Take proper precautions, wash hands and face often, avoid other people's bodily fluids -- or break out the body-condoms. He got home from Liberia on Sept 24th.

Outbreak of rare D68 entereovirus causes respiratory failure and paralysis in kids. colorado hardest hit state, so far. 

With all of this going on, is it the best time for the University of New Mexico to be hosting sex week? They will address consent, being a gentleman, how to solicit a 3-way, oral sex, premature ejaculation and all sorts of things. What about Ebola transmission?

Speaking of Colorado, Gov. Hickenloper considers Bloomberg to be a "majority of voices" despite the overwhelming backlash in the polls over anti-second amendment laws. Hickenloper's reelection polls dropping.

Chicago's latest stats for concealed carry permits display a racist trend. The Democrat-controlled bureaucracy denies black people their permits. Why? Well, why was the NRA founded?

The running man was the 16th security breach of Obama's administration. In one case, service denied shots were fired at the WH, but a maid found broken glass & bullet holes the next morning. 

Obama tries to blame the US Intelligence community for his lack of paying attention to the briefs they've tried to give him over the past 6 years, which he has skillfully and negligently avoided or ignored. Intel community has tried to warn/inform Obama about ISI for years, but he prefers to listen to jihadists and idiots like Valerie Jarrett.

Meanwhile, Michelle Obummer does her best to dissuade the first amendment. Her staffers treat press members like crap at an event. They even tell reporters that they are not allowed to interview any of the guests. Meanwhile, the staff failed to set enough seats for the attendees. Old women with walkers were forced to stand. I guess the Americans with Disabilities Act doesn't apply to left-wing oligarchs. 

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

PODCAST: Mouth of Matuszak Radio Show #MMRS 9-30


Mouth of Matuszak Show 

 With host Paul-Gregory Matuszak

Aired live 8-9 AM Central (9-10 ET)   October 1, 2014

Listen on Heartland Radio through Live365

replays at

Topics Discussed:

Ebola in Texas!!!!

Former Democratic Party Senator Burris extorted campaign contributions from companies.

Connecticut state representative faces 19 counts of voter fraud and a possible prison term.

James O'Keefe and Veritas catch Obama's Organizing for a Communist America's affiliate, Battleground Texas, caught advocating voter fraud, again.

Stumbling Democrat candidates for governor are dragging down other candidates, harming party's chances

Obama Aid confirms Obama will enact amnesty executive orders, ignore constitution and congress AFTER the midterms. Illegal alien open borders activist groups say that is too late, too many families kept apart. They want amnesty by Thanksgiving. Perhaps they prefer we incarcerate spouses and children of criminals along with the actual criminals?

PODCAST: Mouth of Matuszak Radio Show #MMRS 9-29-14

Mouth of Matuszak Show 

 With host Paul-Gregory Matuszak

Aired live 8-9 AM Central (9-10 ET)   September 29, 2014

Listen on Heartland Radio through Live365

replays at

Topics Discussed:

91 percent of San Antonio citizens say NO! to using vehicle/gas taxes for mass transit & bike lanes... want money restricted to improving car transportation, streets, etc.

Libertarian Julie Borowski takes on competition killing regulations that threaten ride-sharing services.

Wendy Davis's Senate Seat, Fort Worth area, is looking to go to TEA Party favorite Konni Burton. Battleground Texas is afraid of her.

Looney Liberals -- Ditzy Debbie gives herself another case of athlete's tongue.

US Rep from Virginia, Moran, donates to cAIR, an NPO known to funnel finances to terrorist organizations such as IS and Hamas. The terrorist financiers even gave Moran an award!

Obama admits the arrogant statists and oligarchs underestimated the Islamic State... something intel personnel warned the Bush admin about and cited as the number one reason given in '10 to NOT withdraw from Iraq.

Democratic Party hopeful, Fitzgerald implodes, Kasih now seen as a shoe-in for re-election. Fitzy's latest trouble is over an arrest in his auto with a not-wife and no valid DL. His low character makes Clinton look like a straight-edge picture or morality and fidelity.

2A -- NRA GOTV campaign father & son video. On Friday, Liz & I talked about these versus the chuck Norris one.

Friday, September 26, 2014

PODast Mouth of Matuszak Radio Show 9-26 w/ Guest Liz Harrison


Mouth of Matuszak Show 

With Guest Liz Harrison

 With host Paul-Gregory Matuszak

Aired live 8-9 AM Central (9-10 ET)   September 26, 2014

Listen on Heartland Radio through Live365

replays at

Topics Discussed: 

Holder Resigned (national propaganda release -- NPR)

Liz remembers the Holder years

Judge tells DoJ to fill FOIA requests regarding Fast and Furious. "No More Delays"

Holder's corrupt tentacles hit at every level from federal to local... Ferguson, Texas, Arizona, Zimmerman trial -- but where he should investigate, he let "internal investigators" cover things up instead.

What next for Holder? Well, Justice Ginsberg is over 80 and looking to retire, but refuses to be replaced by a conservative. Is holder her successor? Liz and Paul tell us why not... .

2A News --

NRA "trigger the vote" ads. huk Norris and "regular people" ads show voting protets the same rights the 2nd Amendment safeguards

Military News --

Military to enlist illegals -- enlistments provide pathway to citizenship.

PODcAST Mouth of Matuszak Radio Show 9-25 #MMRS

Mouth of Matuszak Show

 With host Paul-Gregory Matuszak

Aired live 8-9 AM Central (9-10 ET)   September 22, 2014

Listen on Heartland Radio through Live365

replays at Topics Discussed: Radical Muslim Extremist calls for death of Americans, gets praised by Obama -- Sheikh Abdallah Bin Bayyah, Vice President of the Muslim Brotherhood also got private tours of the White House, including the private residential areas. Congress in no rush to vote on military authorizations for ongoing war on terror. Some say it isn't needed, others don't want to grant it. corrupt NY cop convicted of stealing $89k quarters from parking meters. criminal took tour of gun-banning businesses in his latest caper -- robbed Gamestop at gunpoint, then pilfered a change of clothes from Target. Then he hid from the cops in chili's rest rooms. The assailant selected those locations because he knew he would not meet armed resistence. His choice of firearm was a gas-powered pellet/BB gun.   New illegal alien detention facility in Dilley,Texas comes under fire. Students protest AGAINST learning US history.  They prefer unpatriotic Howard Zinn fiction over patriotic truth. Here we go, common core and ignorance eroding our natural rights of life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

PODcAST Mouth of Matuszak Show 9-24-24 #MMRS

I somehow got the date wrong... it's the 24th. I failed to finish that first cup of coffee before starting the show.

Mouth of Matuszak Show

 With host Paul-Gregory Matuszak

Aired live 8-9 AM Central (9-10 ET)
  September 22, 2014

Listen on Heartland Radio through Live365

replays at

Topics Discussed:

Gun-grabbers looking foolish --

MDA's Alison Martin shares a brain cell with Shannon Watts. When confronted with the historical tyranny behind what she stands for, Martin admits she idolizes famed Nazi Josef Goebbels. Left-wing collectivist oligarchs of a feather flock together...

Gun-grabber Dwayne Ferguson, who lobbied for NY's unconstitutional SAFE Act, violated gun-free zones, twice!!! He pushed for harsher sentences against gun owners, then begged for a slap on the wrist when he broke the same law.

Loonie Liberals --

Meaghy McCain opened her mouth again to show everybody her lack of brain cells. Does anybody actually believe her claims of being conservative, republican or even libertarian? Now she's trying to tell the GOP that they have to buy into unproven junk science. Meagy, maybe you should lay off the corn syrup, gluten, and kool-aid. Even your RINO dad isn't that dumb.

US Military personnel need to feel honored. The grand messiah, Obozo, designed a special salute just for them -- the pumpkin-spice cafe latte salute! This douchebag is worse than Hitlery. At least she was honest when she told US Soldiers she felt they were beneath her and needed to avert their eyes from her majesty.

Enjoy some of the better quotes from General "Mad Dog" Mattis.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

PODcAST #MMRS Mouth of Matuszak Show 9-23-14

Mouth of Matuszak Show

 With host Paul-Gregory Matuszak

Aired live 8-9 AM Central (9-10 ET)
  September 23, 2014

Listen on Heartland Radio through Live365

replays at

Topics Discussed:

The big news -- BOOM! AF, Navy & Marines strike ISIS w/ bombs & TLAMs. 47 TLAMs fired. Now, how are they going to hold key terrain without ground forces? Guess Obozo wants to make the same mistake as Bubba, only more dire.

ISIS in Iraq destroys Iraqi military post, seizes more ground. Few survivors claim hundreds of soldiers missing or captured. Hey, Obozo & company, I TOLD YOU SO!!!!! (Back in 2009, 2010)

As many as 40 ISIS-linked US citizens have trained in terrorism and returned to US, so far. Recent ISIS video indicates possible attacks on US soil due to North American accent. 

But DHS doesn't know because all the competent intelligence personnel quit to take jobs with real employers.

Iran sentences dancers to 91 lashes, each, for being "Happy". How does Pharell Williams feel about his song causing so much pain and suffering?

Connecticut school goes on lock-down because a student wore a Vietnam era US Army field jacket. Wow.