Saturday, September 22, 2012

Review -- Schlichter II: I AM A LIBERAL


Now Available Only at Amazon.com!!!


Just a few months after Kurt Schlichter released his first best-seller, I Am A Conservative, his follow-up, or sequel, I Am A Liberal is now on the electronic shelves at an Amazon eBook store near you. Yes, devoted Schlicter fans, it is full of #caring. In fact, there is $100.oo worth of #caring in that cheap $5.99 eBook. IN fact, you may need to purchase a Ballistic Tough Jacket for Amazon Kindle to protect your Kindle when you drop it from laughing too hard. No, you need not purchase a Kindle to read the book. There are free applications available for your iPad, Motorola DROID RAZR MAXX smart phone, or computer that enable you to read Kindle versions without purchasing an eBook reader.

If you have not yet read Kurt's first foray into political humor, it is a "must-read". It is Kurt's way of adopting one of Alinsky's tactics, employing humor to reduce your opponents' platforms to mockery, against the very oligarchists that champion Alinksy. It's brilliant.

Mr. Schlichter's sophomore work surpasses the first. His first work was mostly a collection of one-liners, many taken from various "Twitter-Rants" Kurt is near famous for publishing on Twitter. I Am A Liberal is more than that. The book contains many of those one-liners for which he is famous. However, his latest also contains more:  more humorous essays, more cited examples of those worth mocking, and more Kurt.


The opening chapter delves into the depths of the "Liberal Elite". After Kurt humorously explains his position, he adds one-liners such as:  


I am a Liberal: You can’t expect my half-wit constituents to support themselves...I sure don’t.
I am a Liberal: You’re racist. I’ll let you know why after I watch some MSM news shows or read the New York Times editorial page. 


Another chapter of the book sets its sights on Obama and his devoted lap-dog house servants:

When I think of cool, I tend to think of someone who is an achiever, who makes things happen, who has a way with the ladies. A cool guy is rough, and awesome to be around. He has a track record of success.
An uncool guy is just the opposite. He achieves nothing, and he’s someone who can’t seem to influence events, who has zero game. He’s soft, and a pain in the ass to be around. He is a failure.
Tell me again how Obama is “cool?”
He wears a goofy bike helmet and talks like a sociology grad student. The only time he shows emotion is when some mere mortal has the temerity to shout, “That skinny guy has no clothes… well, except for the mom jeans!” 


Then he delves into the rampant hypocrisy of the left on such issues as "cultural sensitivity", "racism", and the so-called "war on women":


Take women and women’s rights. Liberals are huge supporters of women’s rights. They love women. Women are awesome. And then, when a liberal hero leaves a woman to drown in a car, or decides to convert one into a walking humidor in the Oval Office, record scratch! It all changes.



Kurt even includes a wonderful lexicon so that non-collectivists can understand "progressives" when they are speaking with them. I, for one, am grateful for this section. It explains why some liberals nod in agreement with me, then attempt to tell me that my words do not support my actions (when they most certainly do).



America (Noun): A bloodstained hellhole of genocide and consumerism redeemed only at irregular intervals when the electorate inadvertently elects a borderline socialist.
______
Bigoted (Adjective): Holding or embracing hateful, prejudicial beliefs toward anyone except conservative, Christians, Jews, men, or anyone else that liberals have listed in their weekly enemies memo.
______
Bipartisanship (Noun): A state of being that involves conservatives jettisoning all their beliefs and buying into tax increases; see also “Reasonable.”


Other topics Kurt tackles are liberal teens, the "Occupy movement", the Democratic Party elitists, the lap-dog media, and the socialist-elitists in the entertainment industry. (Of note, not all people in the entertainment industry are oligarchs. People such as Adam Baldwin, Chuck Woolery, and Clint Eastwood serve as redeeming points of light in that otherwise plastic abyss.)
 
The snippets provided are, by far, not the most entertaining excerpts from the book. Those I reserve to those intelligent individuals that fork over the $5.99 to Amazon.com and make this investment. The eBook costs about the same as a venti latte at Starschmucks. Just think, after reading it, you will be able to properly converse with the "expert barista" as they "Fetch you latte". #caring