Lisa was my sister.
As far as I knew, we had no blood relations, yet we were family, becoming siblings of soul over the course of the past three decades. So please excuse the long story. Trust me, I am skipping the boring parts.
To say I was an awkward teen is putting it mildly. After I graduated high school, I elected to attend a private university in Romeoville, IL. The school offered me a partial academic scholarship and I had earned another scholarship from a different foundation. Coupled with my meager savings and a small student loan, I was able to afford the first year. During my second semester, I pledged Nu Phi Epsilon, a fraternity with a sister sorority known as the Sisters of the Golden Heart.
Despite being a bit of an outcast, I became quite close with my pledge class. I was a bit heartbroken when, over that summer, I was notified that the foundation that granted my second scholarship was discontinuing the program. Even with working two jobs over the summer, I wouldn't have acquired enough to attend Lewis the following year. I sought other options and elected to join the Illinois Army National Guard. One of their recruitment claims was the state paid for college. It turned out that I had to attend a state school.
I took that next academic year off to attend military training in a few schools. When I returned, though slotted to attend UIC, I made every effort to attend fraternity functions in Romeoville.
This is where I met Lisa.
To be honest, I thought she barely tolerated me. Back then, that was par for the course. I have an off-beat and often dry sense of humor. Many of my interests were not considered "mainstream". I was a "goth" before "goth" was a thing. And, despite being the last person most would have thought would be in the military, I was a soldier.
A couple of years later, I had dropped out of college, again. I was going from periods of working 2 jobs (plus weekends with the guard) to being unemployed. I had no real direction but found a calling in military service and elected to go active duty, a path I remained on for the following 20+ years.
I lost contact with most of my fraternity brothers and sisters during that time.
More than a decade later, I joined Facebook. I used it rarely until I deployed (again!) to Iraq. MySpace was so slow and cumbersome that FaceBook became my only social media means of keeping contact with friends and family back "in the world". Among those who reached out to me was Lisa Michalski.
When I go the friend request, my initial response was "are you serious?"
I know this sounds more like my life story, but it serves to illustrate who Lisa really was. Here I was, a guy who could have sworn the only reason she would talk to me was out of general courtesy. But that wasn't it.
Lisa was our glue. She kept me informed about Dave West's battle with cancer. She prodded me to try my best (and I did) to attend every reunion event. While I was deployed, she kept me up to date on what was happening with the Cubs (like you could stop her!). When I was living in AZ, we tried making plans to meet at spring training. Through her and Chuck Augistyniak, I reconnected with many of my fraternity brothers and sorority sisters. When I couldn't make a reunion, she sent me pictures. She taught me more about the Iditarod than I ever thought I would want to know.
Lisa loved animals, especially dogs and cats. She and I shared "cat tales" on a regular basis. We also, via FaceBook, shared many cute animal pictures, memes, and videos. She welcomed my love of exotic creatures like owls, hawks, dragons, and bats.
Lisa is also one of the few people who actually understood my weird sense of humor. She could tell when an off-hand quip was just teasing. She'd laugh, feign offense, and laugh more. Seriously, I actually tried to offend her. it didn't work. She knew I would post or type things just for the shock value. She could also tell when I was trying to be funny and when I was actually serious. Most people cannot tell.
Some of these quips were me playing "real Texan" and jibing her about "real barbecue" and "real tacos". She knew that I knew Ed is an awesome smoker and barbecue aficionado. She also knew not to mention chili to me...
Mind you, our back and forth banter over a variety of subjects was near daily over the past few years.
Lisa recently got access to Netflix. She and I went back and forth on what programs she should binge-watch next. I made her promise me that we'd Skype or FaceTime the last episode of the first season of 13 Reasons Why together. I never told her why she shouldn't watch it alone, just that I would "watch it with her" via modern technology. She also had me comprise a list of serial-killer-related shows and thrillers for her to watch. She barely made a dent in that list.
I was trying to work an excuse to travel to the Chicago area for work around the time of the next scheduled reunion. Lisa told me "if you cannot make it, just let me know when you will be here and we'll do another one when you're here". That was the Lisa I had grown to know and love. The beautiful, smiling angel who repaired and maintained lost and weakened connections, Lisa always looked for those "one or two" things people could connect over. As you look over the many things people have posted on FaceBook in her memory, that is the common thread.
Lisa was the thread that kept us as family. She lived the values of our organization: Virtue, Diligence, Brotherly/Sisterly love.
Lisa was my sister. I love and miss her very much.
