Friday, June 28, 2013

If It Weren't Hilarious, It Would Be Harassment

The White House has been emailing my wife.

Those of you who know my wife may want to stop chortling long enough to read the rest of this. No, we do not apologize for your having sprayed your beverage all over your computer monitor. If you were snacking and don't have anybody around to give you the Heimlich, use the back of a chair. Once you catch your breath, come on back and finish reading.


Anybody else, if you are drinking coffee, water, or some other beverage, put it down, now. You may want to abstain from food for a few minutes as well.

If it didn't so quickly denigrate into the butt of jokes, it'd be harassment. If anybody other than the White House were sending the emails, the replies of "quit spamming me or I'll press charges" would actually elicit a positive response of "sorry ma'am, we'll take you off of our list". However, we already know that Obama believes he is above the law.

My wife tries to be apolitical. However, she married me. She knew what she was getting into. Keeping that in mind, let me also inform a few of you that my wife adores the BlogCon-CLT T-shirt I passed along to her. It is the "Freedom Badger Don't Care" shirt some of you may be familiar with. She also will wear her BlogCon-13 T-shirt to the gym on Fridays.  If you haven't seen the pictures, my wife had a bit of fun meeting, socializing, and listening to some of the people she's heard me talk about over the past few years.

If Steve Crowder, Chris Loesch, Dana Loesch, Mandy Nagy, Deneen Borelli,  Brandon Morse or Steve Green happen to read this, she still talks about BlogCon-13. In fact, each time our daughter coerces us into playing the video for "Mr. America", my wife is quick to point out "I met them... all of them".

She can't wear that T to work. She has a strict dress code where she teaches. They have to dress up like Walmart employees. It does make things easier, though. She gets to forgo the 15 minutes of outfit coordination she was encumbered with at her last job.

The BlogCon-13 T-shirt is red. We like to wear red on Fridays. My wife and I are both veterans. R.E.D. stands for Remember Everyone Deployed. 

When saying my wife is "apolitical" it isn't to mean she doesn't have views. She is quite conservative. In fact, on many topics, she is more conservative than my libertarian-leaning positions. She just isn't overly vocal. If you read her reviews of The Hunger Games and How Do You Kill 11 Million People, you can see she is relatively conservative.

Many times I bounce my ideas off of her before I open my yap (or start hammering at the keyboard). I'll run some facts toward her and see what she has to say. In some cases, her reaction is much more conservative than mine. In some cases, when she hears the news playing on the radio, she will look at me and say "Did he/she [insert liberal politician] just actually say that? No! That is just... just stupid. Are you going to write about that?"

She knows my audience isn't on par with Michelle Malkin, Dana Loesch, or Erick Erickson. Still, she thinks that even the 30-100 people I reach is a good start.

Though she's working on her delivery, my wife can pull off some amazing bits of witty humor at times. Recently, she almost had me convinced that she didn't vote for Ted Cruz. "In the final election? I wrote in Dewhurst". She voted for Cruz in both of the primaries and in the final.

I won't buy it if she tries that same tactic should Dewhurst be facing Todd Staples. She met Mr. Staples and liked him.

So, there is a little background on my wife.


While preparing for bed the other night my wife looked at me. "Why in the hell am I getting emails from the White House?"

In case you didn't catch it, that means she considers them unsolicited and a nuisance.  Surprisingly, she didn't instantaneously tag them as junk mail. She started reading the first one to me. After two sentences, I stopped her and summarized it for her. She asked if I received the same mail. I informed her that I heard the rhetoric earlier in the day as Obama played demagogue and propagated his latest pile of rubbish that is recycled more yet less utilitarian than cow patties. Cow patties can be used as fertilizer, helping to grow food. They also emit methane gas. If some smart chemical engineer could learn to harvest that gas, safely and efficiently, it would make a great fuel source.

That brings us to the email's topic. It was soliciting my wife to buy into Obama's rhetoric on "green energy" and punishing fossil fuel producers. My wife doesn't "buy into" anything without doing her own "market research". Right off the bat, however, she asked how much more it will end up costing her to fill up the car each week.

Yes, that is one of the key problems with Obama's latest policy push regarding our Republic's energy self-reliance. He wants our energy costs to be beyond what an average person can afford. I guess being able to drive yourself to a job, earn a paycheck, pay your share of taxes, drive to the store, buy your own food with your own earnings, drive home, cook your own food, and have a family meal in the house you bought for yourself with your own earnings is more than Obama thinks we deserve. He thinks that the government should provide all of the above by putting the burden onto the backs of others who have earned.

So, Obama had a staffer send out emails to justify even more fascist, unlegislated regulations being issued by the bureaucracies within the executive branch.

Let's take a little look at how ridiculous the EPA has become. The EPA, and others, did an environmental impact study before starting a wind generator experiment on some military bases. One of them identified serious potential threats to some avian wildlife as well as a protected species of bat. The bottom line was that the windmill couldn't operate in hours that present the greatest activity of the bats. In addition, they were told to operate until a certain number of avian deaths were confirmed. Of course, those responsible for operating and maintaining the wind generator are the same who will check for dead birds and bats. No external oversight was tasked. It is a "green energy" project. Therefore, they get a pass.

On the contrary, try setting up a fractured hydraulic drilling rig on private property in order to collect and use your own natural gas. The EPA will be up your poop-shoot on a regular basis. That is if you are even allowed to build on your own land in the first place.Under the new proposed regulations, the regulatory fees and taxes would make it unaffordable. Then again, wind power and solar power tend to not be cost-effective to your average homeowner either.

But you'd be allowed to kill birds, just as long as you don't report yourself for having killed too many.


My wife received a second email from the White House. She passed it along to me. She didn't bother to read it. But we had a nice laugh over breakfast after I summarized it for her.

In short, this staffer wanted to tell us all the great work Obama did this week.

First came more "green energy, punish energy sources that are cost-effective and actually work!" propaganda.

When was the last time you can remember a week like this? On Tuesday, President Obama committed the full weight of American leadership to the fight against carbon pollution and climate change.
This staffer wants us to believe that Obama's executive powers are so great that he can control the weather! Oh, let us not forget "carbon pollution". I guess he forgets that trees, grass, humans, plants, animals, and fish are all carbon-based. I guess they are all pollution, now.


Next, Obama took credit for the Supreme Court ruling that DOMA violates state's rights. If you aren't laughing, look at Obama's track record on states' rights issues. Start with Obamacare. Next, move on to voter registration. How about the issues he has with Arizona's SB-17. Obama does not care one iota about states' rights. He cares about buying votes and stealing individual freedoms with empty promises. We can remind him that he supported DOMA when Bill Clinton signed it into law. Oh, Obama also took credit for the SCOTUS throwing out the case concerning California's Prop. 8. They didn't rule. They remanded it back to California courts. Read the ruling. It does not say "overturned". It specifically says "Vacated and Remanded".


In any case, I guess there are some people who believe that Obama has some special executive power that supersedes the US Constitution and allows him to issue court opinions with Roberts' or Kennedy's signature blocks. His auto-pen is just that damn good.

If you believe Obama supports state and individual rights, you may want to review his views on the Voting Registration Act decision:

Before the President spoke on Tuesday, the Supreme Court struck down one of the core provisions of the Voting Rights Act that has helped to protect one of Americans’ most fundamental rights for nearly 50 years. As the President said, it’s now up to Congress to ensure that every American has equal access to the polls.
So, despite what the US Constitution says, Obama is trying to order the US Congress, an equal branch of government to the executive branch, not subordinate to it, to violate the US Constitution and tell states how to govern their electoral processes. But we digress...



That isn't what got us laughing. What got us laughing was Obama praising the US Senate for passing yet another "comprehensive" bill that they failed to actually read before voting.

The email discusses "undocumented workers" and "undocumented immigrants". First, if they are "undocumented" it's only because the US Government has failed to process all of those caught breaking the law. The USBP is still employing a "turn back south" policy. Instead of capturing and deporting invaders, the US Government is asking them to "please go home". It's like asking a bully "please stop picking on me". They won't until you pop them in the nose.

Today, 68 members of the U.S. Senate, Republicans and Democrats, came together and voted to reform our nation's immigration system. They voted for a bill that secures our borders and cracks down on employers who refuse to play by the rules. They voted for a bill that provides undocumented immigrants with a way to earn citizenship so they can come out of the shadows. They voted for a bill that provides visas to foreign entrepreneurs looking to start American businesses, reunites families, and helps the students and young people who've never known any home but America fully embrace the country that they love.
Well, the if some super-smart chemical engineer could generate methane from the amount of bull droppings in that statement, the US would be energy sufficient for a decade. 

Many of those not caught, captured, deported, processed, or "turned back south" evade the USBP. They get documentation. It is usually forged. Many times, it also includes stolen personal identification information (PII). That is a crime also known as "identity theft". It is illegal. So, they are not "undocumented". They are "fraudulently and illegally documented". So let's shorten that mouthful to just "illegal" or "criminal".

Of course, Obama's rhetoric doesn't account for those who do come legally but end up in "illegal" status. Many of them are victims of the bloated bureaucracy run by the administration and the labyrinth of red tape they created to justify their jobs and budget. It causes delays in notification and processing of these otherwise legal immigrants, causing their visas to expire without any notification or warning. In fact, once such a person gets such a visa, they have to apply for a renewal the next day to get it processed in time.

What is hilarious, though, is that Obama's little staffer attempts to give three examples. She makes it appear as though these are illegal immigrants who made good on the American Dream. All three of these people do need to be applauded. They were not illegal or "undocumented" immigrants. All three went through the proper legal process and became naturalized US Citizens the right and legal way. If anything, they are examples against Obama's own rhetoric. These are what opponents of the Senate mockery of immigration reform actually want:  legal immigrants that prosper.

We heard from a 24-year-old honors student named Ruben who told us that he has dreamed of joining the U.S. military since he was 17 years old. "Since then," he said, "there has not been one day in which I do not think of the day that I will finally become a U.S. Marine."

We heard from a man named Miguel who arrived in the United States at 12, speaking hardly any English. He's now a citizen, a taxpayer, and the president of his local Chamber of Commerce.

We heard from a woman named Ramona whose father landed on Ellis Island in 1920, then helped build the New York subway system. "We all have come from someplace else if we go back far enough," she wrote.

It's the ones that Obama doesn't address that we oppose:  those who sneak in while carrying drugs to pay for  their passage and fraudulent documents. Obama also magically omits the cases of slavery and indentured servitude his policies have been complicit in fostering.

Also, Obama wants the criminals to be viewed as victims. After all, it is the fault of the prosperous, hard working US Citizen who has his identity and voter registration stolen by an illegal. The illegal immigrant is the victim. They deserve the right to vote and their share of your earnings because you worked so hard. Then again, he'll also tell you "you didn't build that". I guess the illegal invaders that stole your identity did.

To that White House Staffer, you have a job as a comedy writer. Wait, you weren't being satirical? You were serious? That makes this even more funny!

Anyway, thanks to this young lady for the laughs:

Cecilia Muñoz
Director, Domestic Policy Council
The White House

She is also a member of the rather racist and anti-US organization known as La Raza. She even proudly proclaims her membership in the hate-group in her White House Staffer bio. Putting La Raza in charge of immigration policy is like putting the fox in charge of the hatchery, or a pedophile in charge of a government-run pre-K indoctrination installation ("school"). Crap, I'm giving him ideas...

While you are there, you can look at Obama's "Director of Progressive Media". Basically, he's what the Soviet Union called a "Political Officer" and chief of what Orwell termed "Thought Police".